Will my family look down on me for not having enough time?

Folks, this is such a real problem, a hurdle almost every IT professional and entrepreneur faces.

First, it's crucial to understand that whether your family feels "neglected" isn't about the sheer amount of time you spend, but where they "feel" they stand in your priorities. They know you're working incredibly long hours, exhausted. Their concern often isn't your lack of time with them, but rather if their place in your heart is slipping further down your priority list.

Therefore, the core solution isn't about "squeezing out time," but about "improving efficiency" and "expressing your care."

1. Communication: Lay out the ground rules upfront

Don't wait until you're swamped and your family is already full of complaints to explain. Find a dedicated time, sit down as a family, and don't talk while distracted by your phone. Honestly tell them:

• Why you're so busy: It's not just about making money; it's for a dream, for a better future for this family. Explain your goals and plans in a way they can understand. Make them feel like they are part of this grand plan, not outsiders.
• You need their support: Directly tell them, "I'm going to be very busy, and I might not be able to spend as much time with you as before. I need your understanding and support." Bring them into your "trenches."
• Set a timeframe: Tell them that this extremely busy period is temporary, for example, "The three months before the project launch will be a sprint," rather than endless. This will give them something to look forward to.

2. Quality over Quantity

You can't be with them 24/7, but you can create "quality time together."

• Put down your phone: Even if it's just half an hour a day, like during dinner, put your phone aside and wholeheartedly chat with them. Ask them how their day was, what interesting things happened at school or work. This half-hour is a hundred times more valuable than spending an entire afternoon with them while your eyes are glued to your computer or phone.
• Establish "family rituals": Set a fixed "family day" or "family time" each week, non-negotiable. For example, going to a park together on Saturday morning or watching a movie together on Sunday evening. The key is "fixed," making it a habit, a moment everyone looks forward to.
• Utilize fragmented time: Make a call during your commute, don't talk about work, just ask "Have you eaten?" or "Is it cold today?" A few words convey "You're on my mind."

3. Let them "participate"

Participation here doesn't mean having your family write code for you.

• Share your small achievements: When you fix a big bug, you can say, "I solved a huge problem today, let's celebrate with an extra drumstick tonight!" Let them share in your joy.
• Vent about your difficulties: When you face challenges, you can also tell them, "I got chewed out by a client today, I need some comfort." Let them know your struggles, and they'll understand you better.
• Let them help you with "small things": For example, picking up a package for you or pouring a glass of water. Sometimes, people feel closer to you when they've done something for you.

Ultimately, family is our support system as we strive, not our opposition. What they want isn't for you to be by their side every day, but the security of knowing "I am important in your heart." If you provide that sense of security sufficiently, they won't resent you; instead, they'll become your strongest backing, urging you, "Go on, get busy, we've got things covered at home."