In online dating apps, are personal profiles and photos a form of self-marketing? How do they affect modern intimate relationships?

Okay, this is a really interesting question, and one that many people in our era are experiencing and pondering firsthand. As a "battle-hardened" user of these apps, I'm happy to share my thoughts in plain language.

The "Billboard" of Online Dating: Are Profiles and Photos Self-Marketing?

The answer is: Absolutely, and it's arguably the kind of self-marketing we ordinary people are most adept at.

You can think of online dating apps as a massive virtual supermarket, and each of us is a "product" on the shelf.

Photos = Product Packaging Your photos are the outermost packaging of this product. What kind of photos would you choose? Definitely not a bare-faced, just-woke-up-with-messy-hair shot, right? You're most likely to choose:
- Well-lit, well-angled, edited pictures: This is like putting soft lighting on the product to make it look more appealing.
- Photos showcasing high-value scenarios: Like traveling abroad, skiing or surfing, dining at a fancy restaurant. This is equivalent to printing "Quality Guaranteed" or "Imported Ingredients" on the packaging.
- Group photos with friends: This implies "I'm sociable and well-liked," serving as a display of "customer testimonials."
Profile = Advertising Copy Your profile is the product description and slogan. How do you write it?
- Highlight key selling points: You list your hobbies (fitness, reading, movies), job (usually mentioning a respectable-sounding industry or position), height (if it's an advantage). This is like an ad saying "New and Improved Formula" or "Contains Multiple Nutrients."
- Define the target audience: Writing "Looking for someone fun/ambitious/cheerful" is essentially screening your "target customers," hoping to attract people who meet your expectations.
- Craft a persona: Using humorous jokes, profound quotes, or simple emojis all serve to build a "fun," "deep," or "mysterious" personal brand.

So, from selecting photos to carefully weighing every word, the entire process is a complete marketing loop: Brand Positioning -> Packaging Design -> Copywriting -> Market Launch. Our goal is to capture the attention of the most potential "buyers" (matches) in the shortest time possible and make them want to "learn more."

How Has This "Marketing" Changed Our Intimate Relationships?

This marketing model has profoundly impacted how we form and maintain intimate relationships, with both positive and negative consequences.

1. The Risk of "Not as Advertised" and First-Meet Disillusionment This is the most direct effect. Online, we showcase only our "best selves," a carefully marketed "advertising image." When you actually meet someone, you might discover: photos are heavily edited, height is exaggerated, "loves reading" actually means opening a book maybe once a year, "loves sports" just means having a gym membership. This gap between the "marketing" and the "actual product" easily leads to the relationship fizzling out instantly upon the first meeting, killing any potential spark.
2. "Choice Paralysis" and the "Always Another One" Mentality Dating apps turn potential partners into an infinitely scrollable "product catalog." This creates a problem: the paradox of choice. When faced with hundreds or thousands of options, it becomes harder to commit. You always wonder, the person you're chatting with now is okay, but could the next one be better? This mindset makes it difficult to invest sufficient time and effort into deeply understanding one person because the "replacement cost" is so low – one swipe brings a new option. This makes building a long-term relationship, which requires patience and nurturing, much harder.
3. "Fast-Food Style" Relationships, Difficulty Forming Deep Connections Self-marketing pursues "efficiency." We judge someone as a "yes" or "no" at lightning speed. Looks, height, job... these labels become tools for quick filtering. But genuine intimacy is built on deeper foundations: shared values, personality compatibility, and shared experiences – all of which require time to develop. The fast-food style of dating makes us accustomed to quick matching, quick meetups, quick judgments, and quick abandonment at the first sign of incompatibility. We lose the patience needed to "simmer a pot of soup."
4. From "Spark" to "Job Interview" Because everyone brings their own "marketing resume," many first dates feel like a "job interview." Both parties are subtly verifying if the other matches their "resume," assessing "hard skills" and "soft skills." The whole process is filled with scrutiny and judgment, rather than natural attraction and emotional flow. We care more about "Do they meet my criteria?" than "How do I feel when I'm with them?"
5. Fragile Intimacy Built on "Filters" Before meeting in person, we might text for a long time. During this, we construct a perfect image in our minds based on the other person's "marketing materials" and messages. This intimacy based on imagination is actually very fragile. It's not built on real interaction, but on "filters." Once reality shatters the illusion, this sense of intimacy vanishes like a bubble.

To Summarize

Online dating profiles and photos are undoubtedly a form of self-marketing. They offer unprecedented convenience and opportunities, allowing us to meet people outside our usual circles.

However, they are also a double-edged sword, making our interpersonal relationships feel more like market transactions. We become accustomed to quantifying, evaluating, and filtering, potentially losing the patience and courage needed to build authentic, deep connections.

The key is to keep in mind: Online marketing is the door opener, but what truly allows you to enter a door and stay inside long-term is the real, multi-dimensional you behind it – with both strengths and flaws. While enjoying the convenience, maintaining authenticity and patience might be the true path to intimacy in this digital age.