Can first principles be applied to family education? If so, how?

Of course, and this might be the ultimate solution to many anxieties in family education.

Let's talk about this in plain language, without getting into complex concepts.

What are "First Principles"?

Simply put, it means "digging to the bottom," constantly asking "why" until you find the most fundamental, core point of a problem, and then devising solutions from that point. Its biggest opposite is "following the crowd" or "doing what everyone else does."

For example:

• Crowd-following mindset: Old Wang next door enrolled his child in piano lessons, heard it develops the brain, so I must quickly enroll my child too. As for whether the child likes it or can stick with it, just enroll them first.
• First Principles mindset: Why do I want my child to learn things? (Purpose) → I hope they develop a hobby, appreciate beauty, and build perseverance. (Deeper purpose) → Is piano the only way to achieve this purpose? (Deconstruct the problem) → No, drawing, dancing, coding, chess can all work. (Recombine) → What is my child's personality like? What are they most interested in? (Return to the root) → They seem particularly fascinated by drawing and painting, spending hours on it. → Okay, let's start with drawing to cultivate their aesthetic sense and perseverance.

Do you see the difference? First Principles allow you to bypass "other people's children," "experts say," and "popular trends," and go directly back to your own family and child, this unique "product," and design an "education plan" based on their "fundamental attributes."

So, how exactly do we apply this in family education?

It's simple, just three steps:

Step 1: Define your "ultimate goal" for education.

Don't tell me "getting into a good university"; that's just a process, not the end. You need to ask further: Why get into a good university? → To get a good job. → Why get a good job? → To earn money and live a good life. → What is a good life? → ...

You see, if you keep asking, most parents' ultimate goal is actually: to hope their child becomes an independent, healthy, internally rich, and capable person who can create a happy life.

Engrave this goal in your mind. This is the "constitution" for all your educational decisions.

Step 2: Deconstruct your "raw material" – your child.

Don't view your child as an empty bottle to be filled, or a piece of wood to be carved. They are a living person, with their own factory settings.

• What is their nature? Are they introverted or extroverted? Impatient or slow-paced? Naturally sensitive or easygoing? There's no good or bad in these; they are just characteristics. Guiding them according to their nature yields twice the result with half the effort; going against it leads to mutual harm.
• Where does their true passion lie? Observe them: when do their eyes light up, when do they forget time? Is it disassembling things, or telling stories? Playing with small animals, or looking at the stars? This is their built-in "engine."
• What are their core needs? All children need unconditional love, security, and a sense of belonging. These are the lowest, most fundamental "first principles" in Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Poor academic performance can be compensated, but if these underlying needs are not met, they will spend a lifetime trying to make up for it.

Step 3: Reconstruct your educational methods from the "root."

Once you've clarified your ultimate goal (a happy, independent person) and understood your raw material (your child), many problems become clear.

• Regarding learning/extracurricular classes:

  • Old mindset: Everyone else is learning advanced math, so I should too.
  • New mindset: My goal is to cultivate my child's logical thinking ability. My child isn't sensitive to numbers but is very interested in coding. So, I'll let them learn coding; it can also develop logical thinking, and they're interested in it themselves. Isn't that better than forcing them to learn advanced math?

• Regarding behavioral habits:

  • Old mindset: The child eats slowly, dawdles, must be rushed! Must be scolded!
  • New mindset: Why does the child eat slowly? (Return to the root) → Is the food unappetizing? Are they not hungry at all? Or are they trying to get my attention this way? (Deconstruct possibilities) → If it's for attention, am I spending too little time with them normally? Can I set a "fully present time" for them, and regarding eating, give them some autonomy, like if they don't finish within a set time, the food is taken away, letting them face the consequences.

• Regarding future planning:

  • Old mindset: Must get into a top university, then become a civil servant/join a big company; that's stable.
  • New mindset: My goal is for them to live happily. The future world is changing so fast; seemingly stable jobs now might disappear later. The most "stable" thing is their own abilities – learning ability, problem-solving ability, and collaboration skills. I should focus on cultivating these underlying abilities, rather than planning a seemingly perfect, fixed path. As for whether they become a carpenter, a programmer, or open a small shop in the future, as long as they can live happily and with dignity through their own abilities, my educational goal is achieved.

In summary:

Applying First Principles in family education transforms you from an "anxious follower" into a "clear-headed observer and designer."

It requires you to abandon the lazy idea of "one-click replication" and genuinely put effort into thinking: What is the essence of education? Who is my child?

This is difficult because it demands a significant investment of time and energy to observe, think, and reflect. But once you start doing this, you'll find that you are no longer bothered by external noise, your education will become more calm and effective, and your relationship with your child will become closer and healthier as a result.