How Do Nurses Handle Conflicts and Misunderstandings in Doctor-Patient Relationships?
Okay, this is a really great question, and it's absolutely one of the most core, yet most challenging parts of our daily work as nurses. The doctor-patient relationship thing? It's really not a simple matter of good guys and bad guys; it's complex. I'll try to explain it in plain language, drawing from my own experience.
Being a Good Nurse Isn't Just About Injections and Meds; It's Also About Being a "Communication Master" and "Firefighter"
Honestly, in the hospital, patients and their families are already carrying anxiety, fear, and unease because of illness. They're facing an unfamiliar environment, medical jargon they don't understand, and uncertainty about their own condition. At times like this, even a small thing – like a painful injection, waiting too long for the doctor, or food not being to their taste – can become the spark that ignites their emotions.
As nurses, we are the ones who spend the most time with patients. So, handling these conflicts and misunderstandings becomes our "fundamental skill." Below are some methods I've summarized, or you could call them some "mindset approaches."
Step 1: Be a "Listener" First, Not a "Defender"
When a patient or family member approaches you with emotions running high, what they need most isn't an explanation, but to be heard.
Imagine a pressure cooker; if you try to block the vent when it's full of steam, it will just explode. The right approach is to let the steam out first.
- What to do:
- Find a slightly quieter spot, like a corner of the nurses' station.
- Lean forward slightly, make eye contact, and listen attentively.
- Use verbal acknowledgments like "Mm-hmm," "I see," "What happened next?"
- Core: Don't rush to interrupt, don't rush to say "That's not how it is" or "Let me explain." Let them get all their dissatisfaction, grievances, and anger out. Often, once they've said it all, their anger subsides significantly.
Step 2: Put Yourself in Their Shoes – Empathy is the "Master Key"
After listening, what you express isn't "I'm not wrong," but "I understand you." This is empathy.
- What to do:
- Start with phrases like: "I completely understand how you're feeling right now. If it were my family member sick, I'd be just as worried." Or "The issue you mentioned is indeed a problem, and it's caused you inconvenience. I'm truly sorry."
- Saying this makes the other person feel you're on their side, not there to argue. Your "adversarial relationship" can instantly shift to a "cooperative relationship."
Step 3: Explain in "Plain Language," Don't Be a "Riddler"
Many conflicts stem from "misunderstanding." Patients don't understand terms like "diffuse" or "infiltrative" that doctors use, nor why one medication must be taken before meals and another three times a day. Information asymmetry is the biggest enemy.
- What to do:
- Use Analogies: To explain why a skin test is needed: "It's like tasting a small bite of a new food before eating it to see if you're allergic. It's the same principle, for your safety."
- Break Down Steps: Explain a complex procedure: "First, we'll do X, then we'll do Y. You might feel a bit uncomfortable during it, but it will be over quickly. Finally, we'll..." Turning the unknown into the known greatly reduces fear.
- Proactively Inform: For example, while doing rounds, add: "Mr. Wang, how are you feeling today? The doctor will be here for rounds around 3 PM; you might want to prepare any questions you have." This proactive communication prevents a lot of unnecessary waiting and anxiety.
Step 4: Don't Just Explain, Solve the Problem
Words without action are meaningless. After soothing and explaining, there must be concrete action, even if it's small.
- For example:
- A family member complains about waiting too long for the doctor. After empathizing and explaining (e.g., the doctor is in an emergency), you could say: "Okay, how about this: I'll go in right now and ask the doctor roughly how much longer it will be, then come straight back to tell you. Could you please sit here and have a cup of water while you wait?"
- The actions of "going to ask" and "offering water" show you are actively working to solve their problem. This is far more effective than a hundred "Please be patient" statements.
Step 5: Know Your "Boundaries," Know When to "Call for Backup"
Nurses aren't omnipotent. Some conflicts go beyond our scope of duty and capabilities.
- When to "Call for Backup"?
- Involving Diagnosis and Treatment Plan Changes: This is the doctor's domain; we absolutely cannot comment. Say: "The question you raised is very specialized regarding the treatment plan. I'll go get the doctor right away; he/she can give you the most authoritative explanation."
- Extreme Agitation, Potential for Violence: Immediately report to the head nurse and department director; contact hospital security or the security office if necessary. Protecting yourself and others is paramount.
- Involving Costs and Reimbursement: Guide them to the inpatient billing office or medical insurance office. "For detailed cost breakdowns, the billing office has the most specific records; I can show you how to get there."
Step 6: Protect Yourself, Don't Let Bad Emotions "Linger Overnight"
Finally, and this is very important. We are human too. Facing this negativity daily inevitably affects us.
- Learn to "Empty the Recycle Bin":
- Chat with colleagues after work, vent a little, support each other.
- Cultivate a hobby that lets you completely relax – like exercise, listening to music, watching movies.
- Understand that often, a patient's anger isn't directed at you personally, but at the illness and the situation. Don't take these attacks to heart.
To Summarize
Handling doctor-patient conflicts is like "defusing a bomb." It requires patience, skill, and empathy. It's not a simple matter of right or wrong; it's a complex issue of communication and emotional management.
The core process is: First, catch the emotion (Listen & Empathize), then clarify the problem (Explain & Communicate), next work on solving it (Act & Seek Help), and finally, soothe yourself (Manage Your Own Emotions).
Doing this well not only resolves conflicts and protects you but also earns the patient's trust and respect. That, truly, is the greatest sense of professional fulfillment for a nurse.