What were Charlie Munger's principles for family life?

Okay, no problem. When we talk about Charlie Munger, we often think of his investment wisdom. But his life philosophy, especially his views on family life, is equally full of wisdom and very down-to-earth.

He never wrote a dedicated "Munger Parenting Manual," but from his various speeches and Poor Charlie's Almanack, we can distill some family life principles he lived by. These principles aren't complex theories; they are very simple common sense and wisdom.

What are Charlie Munger's Family Life Principles?

Imagine a particularly wise elder in your life. How would they manage their family and raise their children? Munger's principles are probably just like that.

1. Invert, Always Invert

This is Munger's core way of thinking, and applying it to family life is a game-changer.

Ordinary person asks: "How can I make my child successful and my family happy?"
Munger would ask: "What would ruin my child and wreck my family?"

He would then make a "disaster checklist," such as:

Overindulgence: Giving children everything they want, shielding them from any hardship.
Setting a bad example: Playing video games or scrolling on your phone all day, yet demanding your child study hard.
Dishonesty: Teaching children to "take petty advantages" or lie for gain.
Encouraging envy: Constantly comparing your child to "the kid next door."
Instilling a victim mentality: Blaming society or others at the first sign of trouble.

After listing these, Munger's principle becomes very simple: By resolutely avoiding these things that wreck things, your family and children will likely turn out just fine. This is much easier and more effective than chasing a vague goal of "success."

2. Turn the Home into a "Learning Machine"

Munger himself was a model of lifelong learning. He believed the only way for a person to keep improving is through continuous learning. He brought this philosophy home.

Lead by example: He was a man "who lived in his study." His children saw a father who was always reading and thinking, not one addicted to entertainment. This influence was subtle but profound.
Create the environment: Books and learning materials were everywhere in the house. He didn't force his children to study; he created an environment where "learning was as natural as breathing." When a child showed interest in something, he provided resources to support and encourage them.

Simply put, show, don't just tell. If you want your child to become a certain kind of person, you must first live that way yourself.

3. Teach Children the Concept of "Deservedness"

Munger placed great importance on "integrity" and "Deservedness." He believed a person should get what they earn, not through deceit, speculation, or inheritance.

Reject "something for nothing": Despite being very wealthy, he didn't let his children think money fell from the sky. He taught them that wealth and achievement are "earned" through hard work, wisdom, and integrity. Want an allowance? Fine, earn it by doing chores or completing a valuable task.
Emphasize character: He cared more about whether his children were honest, reliable, and responsible than about their test scores. In his view, a person's character is their most valuable asset in life.

This principle is especially important for ordinary families. Don't let children take everything for granted; make them understand that value is created, and respect is earned.

4. Avoid Envy, That Most "Stupid" Emotion

Munger often said envy is the only one of the seven deadly sins that offers no pleasure. When you envy others, you gain nothing but pain for yourself.

In family life, he guided his children to:

Focus on their own "scorecard": Don't constantly look at what others have; focus on whether you've improved a little bit today. Happiness in life comes from one's own growth, not from comparing oneself to others.
Understand the world's unfairness: He would honestly tell his children that the world isn't perfectly fair; there will always be people smarter, wealthier, or born with more advantages. Instead of spending time envying and complaining, put your energy into "playing the hand you're dealt well."

In today's era of rampant social media where everyone is "showing off their lives," this principle is particularly crucial. Teaching children not to compare or envy is giving them the best psychological immunity.

5. Be Resilient in the Face of Life's "Sledgehammers"

Munger's life was not smooth sailing. He went through a divorce, lost a son to leukemia at age nine, and lost an eye due to surgical complications.

Facing these immense misfortunes, his principles were:

Accept reality, don't wallow in self-pity: He never saw himself as a victim. What happened, happened. Wallowing in pain and complaint is useless and only makes things worse. The only thing to do is accept it and then carry on living with it.
Learn from the blows: He believed every setback is a learning opportunity. It was these painful experiences that gave him a deeper understanding of life.

He passed on this resilient "Stoic" spirit to his family. Life will inevitably have ups and downs; the important thing isn't praying that bad things won't happen, but having the ability to get up, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward when they do.

To Summarize

So you see, Munger's family life principles are essentially a microcosm of his life philosophy:

Use reason to avoid stupidity (Inversion).
Use continuous learning to improve yourself (Leading by example).
Use integrity and hard work to create value (Deservedness).
Use equanimity to combat negative emotions (Avoiding envy).
Use resilience to face life's uncertainties (Accepting hardship).

These principles sound simple, but truly living them requires a lifetime of practice. They are like the "ballast" for the family ship, helping it navigate life's storms more steadily and travel farther.

Hope you find this insightful!