Why does Naval emphasize that "happiness is a choice"?
Hello, it's great to discuss this topic with you. Naval Ravikant is a thinker I deeply admire, and his views on happiness have fundamentally challenged many people's conventional understanding.
When most of us ordinary folks think of "happiness," our minds often jump to things like: landing a great job, making lots of money, buying a big house, being with a loved one... and so on. These all seem like "rewards" earned after overcoming challenges, things we need to acquire from the external world.
But Naval emphasizes that "Happiness is a choice." What he means is that true happiness isn't something you "find" by looking outward; it's something you "cultivate" internally.
This might sound a bit abstract. Don't worry, I'll break it down into a few key points to make it clearer.
Core Idea: Happiness is our "Default State"
Imagine a baby without worries or anxieties; they are naturally calm and content. Naval believes this is our most original, natural state.
So why do we become unhappy?
Because later in life, we layer on too many "things": desires, anxieties, envy, regrets about the past, worries about the future... These pile up like layers of dark clouds, covering up the clear sky within us.
Therefore, when Naval talks about "choice," he doesn't mean forcing yourself to say "I choose to be happy!" when you're unhappy. That's just a temporary motivational pump-up; it doesn't work.
His "choice" means: You can choose to "remove" those clouds of unhappiness.
How do we understand this "choice"?
1. Choosing to "Let Go" of Excessive Desires
This is the most crucial point. Naval has a brilliant quote: "Desire is a contract you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want."
Think about it carefully, isn't this true?
- "Once I buy that car, I’ll be happy." – You're unhappy until you buy it.
- "Once I get that promotion, I’ll be happy." – You're unhappy until you get promoted.
- "Once I win over that person, I’ll be happy." – You're unhappy until you succeed.
See? It's the "desire" itself that creates the "unhappiness." The happiness felt upon fulfillment is actually just the "relief" of a satisfied desire. It fades quickly, and then you're off chasing the next one.
So, the "choice" here is: You can choose to examine your desires. Which are truly necessary? Which are implanted by society, advertising, or others? You can choose not to chase after every shiny thing that catches your eye, thereby reducing this "contractual" unhappiness.
2. Choosing to "Live in the Present"
Most of our suffering comes from either regret about the past ("If only I had...") or anxiety about the future ("What if...?").
Our bodies exist right here, right now, but our minds constantly dart back and forth along the timeline, manufacturing pain.
The "choice" here is: You can choose to pull your attention back to the present moment. When eating, simply eat—savor the taste of the food. When walking, simply walk—feel the ground beneath your feet and the wind around you. When you're fully immersed in the present moment, there's no room for worries about the past or future to intrude. This is the core principle of meditation and a skill that can be deliberately practiced.
3. Choosing to "Accept Reality," Not "Fight Reality"
It's raining outside, and you're annoyed because it ruined your plans. But getting annoyed won't stop the rain. Fighting against the reality of "rain" accomplishes nothing except making you feel worse.
Naval argues we should accept reality as unquestioningly as we accept gravity. What has happened is simply what is.
The "choice" here is: You can choose not to engage in pointless "mental resistance." Accept the facts as they stand, then focus your energy on "What can I do now?" rather than wallowing in the pain of "Why did this happen?"
Note: Acceptance is not resignation. Accepting the reality of the rain and then choosing to go out with an umbrella is constructive action.
To Summarize
So, when Naval says "Happiness is a choice," what he truly means is:
- Happiness is not a state of high emotion, but of inner peace. It's not ecstasy; it is the absence of suffering.
- This peace is our default setting, but it gets disrupted by our desires and unchecked thoughts.
- We can, through conscious "choice," train our minds like a muscle:
- Choosing to reduce our desires, not becoming slaves to them.
- Choosing to live in the present, not letting thoughts drift aimlessly between past and future.
- Choosing to accept reality, avoiding futile mental battles.
This is a "skill" requiring long-term practice, not an instant switch. But the good news is, the initiative rests entirely in your own hands. You don't need to depend on anyone or anything else to start practicing and return to that calmer, happier default state.