What books, movies, or podcasts are recommended for people going through a breakup? And which ones should be avoided?

Created At: 8/13/2025Updated At: 8/18/2025
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Hey, sending you a big hug. This heartbreak period is really tough; it feels like the whole world has turned grey. I get it, I really do, because I've been there too. Shifting your focus away from the pain itself and immersing yourself in some good stories is indeed a great way to heal.

Below is a "Do's and Don'ts" list I've compiled based on my own experience and feedback from friends. I hope it helps you find some comfort while avoiding potential "landmines" that might make you feel worse.


❤️ Recommended (Do's): These are your "Healing Companions"

At this stage, our goal is: to rediscover ourselves, not wallow in the past. So the recommendations focus on "self-growth," "broadening horizons," and "gentle companionship."

📚 Book Recommendations

The benefit of reading is that it requires active engagement, and this process itself is a great form of "distraction."

  1. "Maybe You Should Talk to Someone" by Lori Gottlieb

    • Why recommend? This book is incredibly healing! The author is a therapist who writes not only about her patients' stories but also about her own experience seeking therapy after a breakup. You'll discover that those feelings of pain, confusion, and resentment are universal – even therapists experience them. It makes you feel "not alone" and shows that seeking help is normal and beneficial.
    • Best for when: You feel stuck in your emotions and need to feel understood.
  2. "The Courage to Be Disliked" by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

    • Why recommend? This book is like potent medicine with minimal side effects. Using a dialogue format, it introduces the concept of "separation of tasks" – essentially, you can't control others' business, and your business isn't for others to control. After a breakup, we often obsess over "Why didn't he/she love me anymore?" This book helps shift your perspective to "How do I move forward and live my best life?" Proven effective; you'll feel much clearer-headed after reading.
    • Best for when: You're stuck in a loop of "What did I do wrong?" and need strength to look ahead.
  3. "What I Talk About When I Talk About Running" by Haruki Murakami

    • Why recommend? This book has absolutely nothing to do with love, and that's precisely its strength! Murakami writes plainly about his dedication to running and writing. You'll see how a person can rebuild their life and inner peace by establishing a simple habit, like running. It reminds you that there's so much more to life worth focusing on and investing in besides romance.
    • Best for when: You feel like life has lost its center, need something to do, or want to establish new routines.

🎬 Movie Recommendations

Movies let you experience another life for two hours, offering a temporary escape from your troubles.

  1. "Eat Pray Love"

    • Why recommend? This is practically the textbook film for post-breakup healing. After a painful divorce, the protagonist embarks on a solo journey: savoring food in Italy, learning meditation in India, and finding inner balance in Bali. It tells you: Heartbreak isn't an end, but the start of rediscovering the world and yourself.
    • Best for when: You crave an escape from your current reality and want to see the wider world.
  2. "(500) Days of Summer"

    • Why recommend? Important: Watch this movie with a "learning" mindset! It's not a feel-good love story, but a portrayal of disillusionment between "idealism and reality." The male lead lives in his idealized version of love, while the female lead tells him from the start she doesn't want a serious relationship. It makes you reflect: Did you love the actual person, or just your idealized version of the relationship? This helps shatter illusions and accept reality faster.
    • Best for when: You're still romanticizing the past and holding onto fantasies about your ex.
  3. "Leap Year"

    • Why recommend? A very lighthearted and fun romantic comedy. The protagonist travels to Ireland to propose to her boyfriend, encounters hilarious mishaps along the way, and ultimately realizes the grumpy guy she's been bickering with is her true love. Its core message: What you desperately think you want isn't necessarily what's best for you. Sometimes, letting go leads you to something better.
    • Best for when: You're feeling down and need a brainless movie that will make you laugh.

🎧 Podcast Recommendations

Podcasts are the best companions when you don't feel like watching or moving, just lying down.

  1. "Steve说" (Steve Says)

    • Why recommend? Host Steve is a counselor. His podcast frequently explores topics like intimate relationships, personal growth, and emotional management. The content is insightful, yet his tone is gentle. Listening feels like chatting with a wise and kind friend, helping you understand your situation from a psychological perspective and gain inspiration.
    • Best for when: It's late and quiet, your mind is racing, and you need a rational voice to guide you.
  2. "随机波动" (Stochastic Volatility)

    • Why recommend? This podcast covers a vast range of topics – literature, society, film, etc. It pulls your attention away from personal heartache and immerses you in the wider world. You'll realize that while your heartbreak hurts intensely, it's just a tiny blip in the grand sweep of human history. This sense of "detachment" helps ease the pain.
    • Best for when: You feel like your world has shrunk to nothing but the breakup, and you need to "breathe."

💣 Warning (Don'ts): Best to Avoid These For Now

Right now, your heart is like an open wound; any little irritant can cause infection. So avoid things that will "make things worse."

📚 Book "Landmines"

  • All books teaching "How to Get Your Ex Back": Avoid these at all costs! They only trap you in fantasies of reconciliation, preventing you from starting anew.
  • Overly saccharine, perfect romance novels: Seeing others' flawless love stories will only highlight your own sense of failure and loneliness, making you wallow in self-pity.

🎬 Movie "Landmines"

  • "The Notebook," the "Before" Trilogy (Sunrise/Sunset/Midnight): These films are classics and beautiful, but they promote a "soulmate, one true love" narrative. Watching them post-breakup will double your pain, making you constantly wonder, "Why can't my love be like in the movies?" and deepen your fixation on your ex.
  • Tear-jerking romance films like "More Than Blue": Please, don't pour salt on the wound! You need sunshine now, not more tears. Seeking out misery is the worst thing you can do.
  • Any movie associated with your ex: Like the one you both loved watching together, or the one you planned to watch but never did. Don't touch them; it will only cause heartache.

🎧 Podcast "Landmines"

  • Podcasts solely dedicated to sharing "sweet daily relationship moments": Hearing others gush about their love will only make you feel like the loneliest person alive.
  • Call-in radio shows featuring lovelorn callers sharing their dramatic stories: Listening to too many others' messy sagas can make you bitter and resentful, hindering your recovery towards a positive mindset.

Finally, I want to say to you:

Heartbreak is a forced "pause button." It makes you stop and re-examine yourself and your life. The recommendations above are just aids; the most important thing is you.

Allow yourself to grieve, but also remember to set a limit. Once you've cried enough, go for a run, eat something delicious, or try something you've always wanted to do but never did.

Time truly is a great healer. It might sound like a cliché right now, but please believe that this too shall pass. You will get through this, and you'll emerge as a better version of yourself. Hang in there!

Created At: 08-13 12:25:16Updated At: 08-13 15:37:45