How to Get Over a Breakup

What is How to Get Over a Breakup?

How to Get Over a Breakup

Navigating the end of a relationship is a deeply personal and often painful journey. This process is not about erasing memories but about healing, rediscovering yourself, and building a new future. It's a path toward emotional resilience and personal growth, transforming a period of loss into an opportunity for self-renewal.


Understanding the Healing Process

Getting over a breakup often mirrors the stages of grief. While not always linear, recognizing these phases can help normalize your feelings and provide a roadmap for what to expect.

StageDescriptionKey Focus
Shock & DenialA state of disbelief and emotional numbness. You may find it hard to accept that the relationship is truly over.Acknowledging the reality of the situation without judgment.
Pain & AngerIntense emotional pain, frustration, and anger emerge. This anger can be directed at your ex, the situation, or yourself.Allowing yourself to feel the anger and pain without acting on it destructively.
BargainingTrying to regain control by thinking "what if" or attempting to negotiate with your ex or a higher power to reverse the breakup.Recognizing this as a coping mechanism and gently shifting focus to the present.
Depression & LonelinessA period of sadness, reflection, and loneliness as the reality of the loss sets in. This is a natural and crucial part of grieving.Practicing self-compassion and seeking support from friends, family, or professionals.
Acceptance & HopeYou begin to accept the reality of the breakup and start looking toward the future. Hope returns, and you focus on your own life.Re-engaging with personal goals, hobbies, and building a new sense of self.

Actionable Strategies for Healing

Healing is an active process. Here are practical steps you can take to support yourself through each phase.

1. Initial Steps: Creating Space

  • Implement the No-Contact Rule: This is crucial for emotional clarity. Cease all communication with your ex for a set period (e.g., 30-90 days). This includes texts, calls, and social media interaction. The goal is to break the cycle of emotional dependency.
  • Allow Yourself to Grieve: Don't suppress your emotions. Cry, write in a journal, talk to a trusted friend. Acknowledging your pain is the first step to releasing it.
  • Curate Your Environment: Remove or store items that are strong, painful reminders of your ex. Create a physical space that feels like your own.

2. Rebuilding Your Mind & Body

  • Prioritize Physical Health:
    • Exercise: Releases endorphins, which act as natural mood elevators. Even a 20-minute walk can make a difference.
    • Nutrition: Fuel your body with healthy food. Emotional turmoil can affect appetite, but proper nutrition is vital for mental and physical strength.
    • Sleep: Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep. A rested mind is better equipped to handle emotional stress.
  • Practice Mindfulness & Reframing:
    • Journaling: Write down your thoughts and feelings to process them. A gratitude journal can help shift your focus to the positive aspects of your life.
    • Mindfulness/Meditation: Apps like Calm or Headspace can guide you in grounding techniques to manage overwhelming thoughts.
    • Challenge Negative Thoughts: When you find yourself idealizing the past, consciously remember the reasons the relationship ended. Create a list if necessary.

3. Reconnecting and Moving Forward

  • Lean on Your Support System: Reconnect with friends and family. Let them know you need support. Social connection is a powerful antidote to loneliness.
  • Rediscover Your Identity: What did you enjoy doing before the relationship? Pick up an old hobby or start a new one. Take a class, join a club, or travel. This helps you rebuild your sense of self outside of the partnership.
  • Set Small, Achievable Goals: Focus on short-term goals, like finishing a book, completing a fitness challenge, or organizing a room. Accomplishments, no matter how small, build confidence and momentum.

Recommended Resources

While the journey is unique to you, many have walked this path before. These resources can offer guidance, perspective, and comfort.

TypeExamplesWhy It Helps
BooksAttached: The New Science of Adult Attachment by Amir Levine & Rachel S.F. Heller<br>How to Fix a Broken Heart by Guy Winch<br>The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené BrownProvides psychological frameworks, practical advice, and helps you understand your own patterns in relationships.
PodcastsWhere Should We Begin? with Esther Perel<br>Heal Your Heartbreak<br>On Purpose with Jay ShettyOffers expert insights, relatable stories, and actionable tips for emotional healing and personal growth.
Therapy & CounselingCognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)<br>Talk Therapy<br>Support GroupsA therapist provides a safe, non-judgmental space to process emotions and develop healthy coping strategies. It is a powerful tool for navigating complex feelings.
AppsHeadspace (Meditation)<br>Calm (Meditation & Sleep)<br>Fabulous (Habit-building)Provides structured guidance for building healthy routines, managing anxiety, and improving overall well-being.

View questions by category

Initial Shock: Emotional & Physical Reactions

Coping with the intense emotional turmoil and physical discomfort in the immediate aftermath of a breakup.

    Hello there, Reading your question feels like looking at my past self—those countless sleepless nights wrapped in that immense, boundless loneliness, feeling like a tiny boat abandoned by the world, a...
    Hugs. Reading your question, I really understand. That feeling of your heart being emptied out after a breakup can truly make you lose all appetite, as if the whole world has lost its flavor.
    Hey, I totally get where you're coming with this question. That feeling is like your physical and mental batteries are completely drained, and you just want to find a place to hide away, free from any...
    Friend, first sending you a big hug. The answer to your question is: Completely normal. In fact, this is the "standard package" most people experience during deep heartbreak.
    Hey, I really understand how you're feeling. Sending you a big hug first. That feeling is like having a faucet in your heart that won't turn off—tears come uncontrollably, leaving you feeling utterly ...
    Hey there. I totally get how you're feeling. That breakup scene playing on loop in your mind like a broken tape is truly torturous. It feels like you're stuck and can't move on, right? Don't worry, yo...
    Hey, I get the sense from your question that you might be going through a tough time right now. Sending you a virtual hug. Crying is definitely a direct and effective way to release emotions, but if y...
    Okay, friend. Seeing this title, I know you must be feeling absolutely awful right now. It feels like your heart has been hollowed out and the world has turned grey.

Reflecting on the Past & Seeking Closure

Reviewing and understanding the past relationship to find growth and closure.

    Reading your question made my heart sink. This is something almost everyone who's gone through a breakup has tossed and turned over on countless sleepless nights.
    Seeing you ask this question, I first want to give you a hug. Asking this shows you are a very brave person willing to grow. When a relationship ends, we often swing between blaming the other person o...
    Seeing you ask this question, I truly admire your courage. After ending a relationship, looking back at those "red flags" we deliberately or unintentionally ignored is like finding the stone that trip...
    Hey friend, My heart sank when I saw your question because I understand this feeling all too well. It's like reaching the end of a movie only for the protagonist to vanish—no conclusion, no explanatio...
    Hi friend, Your question feels very familiar because this is almost a universal experience after a breakup. I can tell you with certainty: Yes, you are very likely idealizing your past relationship an...
    Okay, friend. Reading your question made my heart skip a beat, because it's truly a poignant and profound one. Many people struggling with heartbreak find themselves asking this very question repeated...
    Seeing you ask this question made my heart skip a beat. This is truly a question that's both painful and brave. Many people, after a breakup, only focus on their sadness.
    Hey friend. Seeing your question made my heart sink. Because behind this question lies so much confusion, pain, and self-doubt. I understand this feeling all too well—it’s like working on a puzzle whe...
    Hey friend. Reading this question feels like seeing my past self or someone close to me. After a breakup, memories are like uninvited guests who keep knocking on your door.
    Hello friend, First off, I want to give you a big hug. Asking this question shows you're incredibly brave and have already taken the first step towards self-awareness.

Managing Contact & Boundaries

How to handle contact with your ex, mutual friends, and shared belongings.

    Sending you a hug. Reading this question, I can almost smell the scent of heartbreak. That feeling is all too familiar. Every corner of the room seems to hold their shadow, every object screams a remi...
    Friend, seeing this question of yours, I can imagine your mind must be in turmoil, feeling really awful. I get that feeling—it's like standing at a crossroads, unsure which path is truly best for you.
    Ah, the phrase "We can still be friends" – arguably one of the most agonizing lines to hear during a breakup. It sounds friendly and mature on the surface, but beneath it lies a tangle of complex emot...
    Hey friend, I totally get how you're feeling right now—it must be complicated, a mix of excitement and uncertainty. It's like tossing a stone into a calm lake; the ripples spread out, unsettling your ...
    Hey friend, reading your question feels like seeing a reflection of so many people, including my past self. This is an incredibly common and deeply painful inner struggle.
    Hey friend, I totally get where you're coming with this question. Dealing with an ex's family is genuinely tough—it can feel like a "second battlefield" after a breakup because it dredges up so many e...
    Okay, I get this question. This is truly one of the most awkward and torturous situations after a breakup. It feels like salt being rubbed into a wound that hasn't even healed yet.
    Hey friend. Seeing this question feels like looking at my past self struggling in the mud of heartbreak, or many friends around me. Regarding the "No Contact Rule," this thing can be considered a stro...
    Friend, seeing this question, I can almost feel the conflict and sadness you're experiencing right now. Dealing with belongings after a breakup is indeed a tricky and emotional step.
    Hey friend. Seeing your question made my heart skip a beat because it feels all too familiar. Trust me, you’re not alone. Countless people, after a breakup, find themselves obsessively refreshing that...
    Hey friend, I totally get where you're coming from. Breakups are tough enough, and having to navigate shared friend circles and accidentally hearing updates is like "double the hurt.
    Hey, sending you a hug. Breakups are tough enough, and having to navigate these complicated social dynamics on top of that is really exhausting. I get it.

Rebuilding Daily Routines

Re-establishing your own daily rhythms and habits without your former partner.

    Hey friend, I totally get where you're coming with this question. Having been there myself, I want to talk to you about exercise. Saying it's "magical" might be a bit of an exaggeration, but when it c...
    Hey, I totally get where you're coming from with this question. Wanting a "makeover" after a breakup is practically everyone's go-to move, and honestly, this trick really works.
    Hey, I totally get how you're feeling right now. A breakup is like a bad cold—it leaves you feeling sluggish and drained. And journaling? It's absolutely a powerful remedy to help you recover from thi...
    Hey friend. Seeing this question made my heart sink because I know that feeling all too well. It's like someone suddenly ripped out a load-bearing pillar from the blueprint of your life's house.
    Hey friend. I totally get where you're coming from. That feeling, like the world's spotlight is suddenly on you, everyone around you whispering and judging your "loneliness.
    Here is the translation of the provided content into English, maintaining the original markdown format and ensuring natural, accurate English: Hey, sending you a big hug.
    Hey there. Reading your question, I really get where you're coming from. Especially after a breakup or during a low point in life, this question can feel particularly sharp.
    Here's the translation: Hug. I understand this so well. When that most familiar person leaves, the whole home feels like a massive "crime scene," every corner saturated with memories, suffocating.
    Okay, friend, you've really hit the nail on the head with this question. So many people struggle with this. As someone who's been there (or seen many friends go through it), I'm happy to share my thou...

Self-Care & Personal Growth

Focusing on yourself, turning heartbreak into an opportunity for self-improvement and rebuilding confidence.

    Hey, seeing you ask this question, first sending you a big hug. When going through a breakup or facing stress, it's common to feel a lack of motivation for anything and even forget how to take care of...
    Hey friend. First off, sending you a virtual hug. Seeing this blank space after a relationship as a gift to yourself—a chance to rediscover and invest in yourself—is seriously cool.
    Okay, friend, seeing this question, I'm guessing you're going through a tough time right now. Sending you a virtual hug first. Heartbreak is something only those who've experienced it truly understand...
    Okay, friend, seeing this question feels like looking at my past self and so many people around me. A breakup is like a sudden, bad cold. Not only does it make you feel physically awful, but worse, it...
    Hey there, friend. First, sending you a big hug. Getting over a breakup really is like coming down with a sudden, nasty cold – dizziness, heartache, feeling completely drained, like the whole world ha...
    Hey friend. Sending you a big virtual hug across the miles. Heartbreak is like a bad cold – it leaves you foggy-headed, drained, and feeling like the whole world is gray.
    Okay, friend, let's talk about this. Heartbreak is like a mirror. While it can be painful to look into, it allows you to see things clearly – not just about the other person, but about yourself.
    Friend, sending you a virtual hug first. The fact that you're asking this question shows you've already emerged from the most painful emotions and started thinking and growing.
    Hey friend. Reading this question really struck a chord. This is an incredibly heavy, yet profoundly important topic, especially after experiencing the pain of a relationship.
    Okay, friend. Seeing you ask this question, I really want to give you a big hug first. Asking this shows you're already lifting your head out of the whirlpool of heartbreak and looking towards the hor...
    Hey friend. Seeing your question made my heart skip a beat, because this is truly a very, very important and deeply poignant question after a breakup.
    Hi there, Reading your question, I can almost feel the weight of that guilt pressing down on you. It’s like a heavy stone on your chest, making it hard to breathe, isn’t it? First, I want you to know ...
    Hey friend, Seeing the title and tags, I totally get how you're feeling right now. A breakup is like life suddenly hitting pause, turning the future you once planned into a blank canvas.
    Friend, reading your question made my heart sink because it felt all too familiar. Those days were like the sky had fallen. But since you asked, I’ll gather my thoughts and feelings, hoping they offer...
    Friend, seeing this title feels like looking at my past self. That feeling after a breakup is like doing a puzzle—you always thought you were a complete piece, but when they leave, you realize a huge ...
    Hello friend, Reading your question feels like looking at my past self, and so many others struggling in the emotional quagmire. This is an excellent question because it shows you’re starting to lift ...

Social Life & Support System

How to communicate with family and friends and build an effective external support network.

    Okay, seeing your question, I can almost picture you sitting on the sofa, hugging a pillow, feeling all tangled up inside. First off, sending you a big virtual hug.
    Hey friend. Your question really resonates with me because this is something many people, including myself, have struggled with. Especially during vulnerable times like a breakup, you crave your frien...
    Here comes a hug. This situation is incredibly common and truly draining. On one side, there's your own unhealed wounds; on the other, there's the "barrage of love" from family and friends.
    Hey, totally get how you're feeling. You dove headfirst into love, and when you finally surfaced, it felt like your friends had drifted away. Now that the relationship is over, the loneliness hits eve...
    Friend, the answer to your question is: Absolutely yes, but please be gentle with yourself. Seeing your question and these tags, I suspect you might be going through a tough time, especially after a b...
    Hello friend, Seeing this question, especially with the "heartbreak" tag, I'm guessing you might be going through a really tough time. First off, sending you a big hug.
    Hey, I totally get where you're coming from. Living alone, especially after going through certain experiences, can make that craving for "security" feel incredibly intense.
    Hey friend, I totally get it. Right after a breakup, it feels like that's the only thing in the world. It plays on loop in your head, and you just want to talk about it.
    Here's the translation of the provided content into English, maintaining the original markdown format: Sending you a hug. Feeling isolated can be really tough, but you taking the initiative to seek su...
    Hey friend, I totally get where you're coming from. Breakups are tough enough, and when friends try to help with their "well-meaning" advice, it can sometimes feel like rubbing salt in the wound or ju...

Facing the Future & New Relationships

Adjusting your mindset to prepare for a new life and the next healthy relationship.

    Hey friend. I totally get how you're feeling. Scrolling through social media or walking down the street, and bam – you get unexpectedly bombarded with someone else's "couple photos," leaving you with ...
    Hey friend, Seeing your question, I really want to start by giving you a big hug. Experiencing betrayal and hurt is like a deep cut to the heart—the wound is raw, and it leaves you guarded against eve...
    Hey there. Reading your question, I feel like I'm seeing a past version of myself. That feeling is all too familiar—like a wounded little animal instinctively retreating into its shell at the sight of...
    Okay, friend, let's talk about this. Many people have experienced or witnessed "rebound relationships," and honestly, it's quite common. What is a "Rebound Relationship"? It's Like a Band-Aid, But Ma...
    Hello friend, My heart sank when I saw your question, because I understand that feeling. That hollow ache inside, seeing everything in shades of gray, feeling like the world's "love switch" has been p...
    Hey friend. Seeing this question feels like looking at my past self, and it really struck a chord. How Long Should I Wait Before Starting My Next Relationship? Honestly, there's no one-size-fits-all a...
    Hey friend. Seeing this question feels like looking at my past self or someone close to me. "Moving on" is a bit like healing from a wound. It doesn't happen overnight, nor does it mean erasing the me...
    Hey friend. My heart skipped a beat when I saw your question because it's incredibly real and so common. Many people, including myself, have been or are currently troubled by this.
    Hey there. This question really hits close to home. Many people face this hurdle on the road to moving on after a breakup, feeling like they're standing at a crossroads unsure which path is right.

Handling Special Circumstances

Dealing with more complex or specific issues in a breakup, such as betrayal or long-term relationships.

    Okay, friend, first, sending you a big virtual hug. I know that being cheated on feels like your whole world has suddenly collapsed. That feeling of betrayal by the person you trusted most is shock, a...
    Okay, friend. Seeing this question, I'm guessing you might be going through a pretty tough time right now. A breakup is stressful enough on its own, and adding money issues into the mix just adds insu...
    Hey friend, I totally get how you're feeling. That's such a great question, and painfully relatable. Many people have experienced this kind of "hard-to-define, hard-to-express" pain.
    Friend, I totally resonate with what you're going through. It feels like there's a monster inside you, ready to swallow you whole, right? Especially after a breakup, that mix of anger and resentment, ...
    Friend, seeing you ask this question made my heart sink. This is truly an incredibly heavy matter. Ending a relationship that's lasted 5 years, 10 years, or even longer is like tearing down a house yo...

General Questions About Healing

Common questions about the timeline and general process of getting over a breakup.

    Okay, seeing this question, I imagine you might be going through a really tough time right now. Sending you a warm hug first. Regarding "how long it takes to get over a breakup," this is truly a quest...

Videos for How to Get Over a Breakup

Psychologist Explains How To Get Over A Breakup & Heartbreak

Psychologist Explains How To Get Over A Breakup & Heartbreak

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To Anyone Going Through A Breakup (for boys only)

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How to Get Over The End of a Relationship | Antonio Pascual-Leone | TEDxUniversityofWindsor

How to Get Over The End of a Relationship | Antonio Pascual-Leone | TEDxUniversityofWindsor

TEDx Talks

Surviving A Breakup: Your Ultimate Guide (No B.S.)

Surviving A Breakup: Your Ultimate Guide (No B.S.)

Clark Kegley

NEUROSCIENTIST: Worst Thing To Do After Breakup | Andrew Huberman

NEUROSCIENTIST: Worst Thing To Do After Breakup | Andrew Huberman

Neuro Lifestyle

How to heal after a breakup

How to heal after a breakup

Shimon Davis

To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On

To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On

Mel Robbins

To Anyone Going Through a Breakup

To Anyone Going Through a Breakup

Matthew Hussey

My feeling are be only feeling

My feeling are be only feeling

BITS OF ME

How to fix a broken heart | Guy Winch | TED

How to fix a broken heart | Guy Winch | TED

TED

Guys VS girls after a breakup… ib @stengiee

Guys VS girls after a breakup… ib @stengiee

Eliana Ghen

How to QUICKLY Get Over a Breakup - TWR Podcast #67

How to QUICKLY Get Over a Breakup - TWR Podcast #67

12 Week Relationships Podcast

“No Contact” & Handling Breakups With Strength (Episode 120)

“No Contact” & Handling Breakups With Strength (Episode 120)

Leo Skepi

How to Get Over a Breakup | Tips from Jay Shetty and Stephan Labossiere 😍❤️

How to Get Over a Breakup | Tips from Jay Shetty and Stephan Labossiere 😍❤️

Jay Shetty Fan Channel

How to Get Over a Breakup: with John Gottman

How to Get Over a Breakup: with John Gottman

The Gottman Institute

How to Get Over Someone

How to Get Over Someone

Psych2Go

Heartbreak and failure is your superpower

Heartbreak and failure is your superpower

Thewizardliz

失恋を乗り越える方法(心理学的観点から)

失恋を乗り越える方法(心理学的観点から)

Newel of Knowledge

Matthew Hussey ON: How to Get Over Your Ex & Find True Love in Your Relationships

Matthew Hussey ON: How to Get Over Your Ex & Find True Love in Your Relationships

Jay Shetty Podcast

How long does it take to get over a breakup? | Am I Normal? with Mona Chalabi

How long does it take to get over a breakup? | Am I Normal? with Mona Chalabi

TED

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